How to Deal With Disappointment

A child sitting on a hill trying to figure out how to deal with disappointment

How to Deal With Disappointment

Though many of us do whatever we can to avoid it, disappointment in life is inescapable. Most of the disappointments we experience are a result of the expectations and projections we put upon the world around us, as well as our illusions and delusions about ourselves. However, once we learn this, disappointment becomes a fertile ground in which to grow. 

 

Steps for Dealing with Disappointment

If you’re dealing with disappointment, here are a few steps you should consider taking:

  1. Accept that you’re feeling this way and that it’s OK to feel disappointed.
  2. Analyze which factors that led to your disappointment were under your control and which were not. Accept that not everything is under your control, and that this moment doesn’t define you as a person.
  3. Recognize what you have learned through this process. Even if you didn’t obtain what you were hoping to, embrace this as a moment of personal growth. Every movie, show, and novel features characters who go through periods of disappointment and failure. How did it shape their journey?
  4. Re-evaluate your expectations. Were you aiming for an unachievable goal? Or are you setting the bar too low for fear of failure? Adjust accordingly. Plot out a future course that features concrete, realistically achievable objectives and how you will get there.

With that in mind, we would like to share this quote from a poet and philosopher of the corporate world, David Whyte. 

 

An Agency for Transformation

“Disappointment is inescapable but necessary; a misunderstood mercy and when approached properly, an agency for transformation and the hidden, underground, engine of trust and generosity in a human life. The attempt to create a life devoid of disappointment is the attempt to avoid the vulnerabilities that make the conversations of life real, moving, and life-like; it is the attempt to avoid our own necessary and merciful heartbreak. To be disappointed is to reassess our self and our inner world, and to be called to the larger foundational reality that lies beyond any false self we had only projected upon the outer world.”

David Whyte

 

The Greater Pattern of Existence

What we call disappointment may be just the first stage in our emancipation into the next greater pattern of existence. To be disappointed is to reappraise not only reality itself but our foundational relationship to the pattern of events places and people that surround us, and which, until we were properly disappointed, we had misinterpreted and misunderstood; disappointment is the first, fruitful foundation of genuine heartbreak from which we risk ourselves in a marriage, in a work, in a friendship, or with life itself.

The Takeaway

When we try to avoid disappointment, we are only cheating ourselves. In fact, heartbreak in life is a great teacher. These are the moments in which we truly learn who we are.

 

Embrace Disappointment

The measure of our courage is the measure of our willingness to embrace disappointment, to turn towards it rather than away, the understanding that every real conversation of life involves having our hearts broken somewhere along the onward way and that there is no sincere path we can follow where we will not be fully and immeasurably let down and brought to earth, and where what initially looks like a betrayal, eventually puts real ground under our feet.

The Takeaway

Disappointment brings reality into focus. Illusions fall away and we come face to face with what truly is. We develop a new relationship with reality. This is the fertile ground for our new life.

 

A Friend to Transformation

Disappointment is a friend to transformation, a call to both accuracy and generosity in the assessment of our self and others, a test of sincerity and a catalyst of resilience. Disappointment is just the initial meeting with the frontier of an evolving life, an invitation to reality, which we expected to be one particular way and turns out to be another, often something more difficult, more overwhelming and strangely, more rewarding.

 

The Takeaway

We need to be brave enough to meet heartbreak head-on. It’s our philosophy that disappointment is not something to fear – It is something to walk towards.

 

Depression Treatment Center in Los Angeles, CA

Life is always evolving. Disappointment teaches us to be supple enough to meet it honestly. Without it, resilience does not exist and we do not grow.

 

It is the mission of Barn Life Recovery to help people love life again through our mental health services. We help people dealing with an assortment of mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and grief. Learn more about our Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and our Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP).

Share on social

INSURANCE ACCEPTED

We are in-network with all PPO plans. We are proudly a certified Tricare provider. We are now able to work with Magellan Health/Blue Shield of CA HMO plans.

TRICARE logo
aetna logo
Anthem logo
Blue Cross Blue Shield of California logo
Cigna logo

Hear From Those We've Impacted

star star star star star

Barn Life is uniquely special. As someone who has had long stretches of sobriety with "traditional" communities and methods, Barn Life stepped in when I started struggling during the pandemic and said "traditional" methods failed to help.The staff here are exceptional. This is a truly subjective statement, but it is my honest opinion that the people from the owner (Hi Matt!) to EVERYONE else works there because they believe in the work and want to share the tools they found.Barn Life and their little sibling, Peer Mental Wellness were the launchpad from a shell of an existence to person with self-love/respect, and a life-mission of personal development.

Steven D.
star star star star star

Best for someone looking for spiritual healing in addition to their mental health healing.

Luka P.
star star star star star

Barn life is probably one of the most amazing facilities you could ever attend when it comes to mental illness. This was the first place that popped up when I was searching for help and I’m so thankful that it did. The environment is very therapeutic, the staff is awesome, and the group discussions and activities were so helpful in me understanding what I was experiencing. Do not hesitate to be a part of this place. It’s literally a game changer. I was only there for 6 weeks but I wished I stayed at least 6 months. Ever since returning home, I’ve been much happier and my perspective has changed dramatically. I’ve done things and participated in events at my college that I never thought I would be able to do. This place is truly amazing and I’m forever grateful that I found this place.

Ariana E.
star star star star star

Through trial and error of trying to stay sober this program is definitely the most caring and supporting of them all if anyone needs help and is willing to help themselves I suggest barnlife they will for a fact give you the push you need and the tools to keep you going

Mason T.
star star star star star

My daughter has been at Barn Life Recovery now for two months. It was my last resort to send her 9 hours away from me. She has been in drug and mental health rehabs in and out for two years. This was my last stitch effort to save my daughter and get her back to herself. Alyssa and I spoke multiple times before deciding. Their willingness to do everything for her and the different teams they have work with them is amazing. My daughter is happy again and clean and sober. She loves it there in their outpatient program. They restore your faith in humanity. They help restore someone who is broken in so many places to themselves. They have put the light back in my daughters eyes. They are committed to helping each person who truly wants the help. They assist in helping them get jobs and be responsible members of society. I recommend their program to anyone wanting to recover from drug, alcohol and mental health.Thank you to all the people at Barn Life who have made my daughter smile and bring the light back to her eyes. I am truly grateful.DawnaLee

DawnaLee W.
star star star star star

I am alumni from Zen Recovery Path / a great place , and live a happy healthy life ever since / great peaceful place to recover // Namaste

Michael M.

START YOUR JOURNEY TO RECOVERY NOW!

MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT · DUAL DIAGNOSIS · TAILORED TREATMENT PLANS

Contact us by completing the form below or call us anytime, day or night.

Name(Required)
MM slash DD slash YYYY
By clicking 'Submit', you agree to Barn Life LLC’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. You consent to receive phone calls and SMS messages from Barn Life LLC to provide updates and information regarding your business with Barn Life LLC. Message frequency may vary. Message & data rates may apply. Reply STOP to opt-out of further messaging. Reply HELP for more information. See our Privacy Policy.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Previous Next
Close
Test Caption
Test Description goes like this