How to Overcome Your Irrational Fear

Fear is a part of being human. Some of those fears protect us, like knowing not to touch fire because we’ll get burnt. But then there are the other fears—the ones that sneak up on you and keep you from doing things you know, deep down, are actually safe. These are called phobias, and they have a way of controlling life in ways that can feel overwhelming and hard to shake. Below, we’re sharing what causes phobias – and how to break free from them!

What is a Phobia?

A phobia is an irrational fear of something specific, like an object, a situation, or even an idea. Unlike typical fears that fade when the danger passes, a phobia hangs on even when you rationally know that you’re not truly in danger. It’s almost as if your mind is playing tricks on your body, causing anxiety and avoidance behaviors that can be hard to break free from.

Types of Phobias

While phobias can be as unique as the individuals who experience them, there are three primary categories of phobias:

Specific Phobias

These involve an intense fear of particular objects or situations that are, in fact, relatively safe. Examples include spiders, heights, flying, bridges, or thunderstorms. They are typically focused on a very specific trigger, and even just thinking about the trigger can bring on a panic attack or severe anxiety.

Social Phobias

Also known as social anxiety disorder, this is an overwhelming fear of social situations where you might be judged or embarrassed. It can also be related to feelings of inferiority or low self-esteem. Whether it’s speaking in front of a group, attending a party, or even making small talk, the fear of negative evaluation or rejection can make socializing feel unbearable.

Agoraphobia

This is the fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult or where help wouldn’t be available if something went wrong. It’s often associated with fear of crowds, open spaces, or being outside the home alone. For some, agoraphobia can become so severe that they avoid leaving their home altogether.

Why do People Develop Phobias?

Phobias often develop in complex and deeply personal ways, usually a combination of past experiences, inherited traits, and your brain chemistry. While some fears arise suddenly from a traumatic event, others may take root gradually, influenced by family history or learned behaviors. The way our brains process fear and anxiety can also play a crucial role, making some people more vulnerable to developing specific phobias.

The primary reasons phobias develop include:

Bad Experiences

Many phobias begin with a negative experience or a panic attack tied to a particular object or situation. Sometimes, even just hearing about or witnessing a bad experience can be enough to trigger the onset of a phobia.

Genetics or Learned Behavior

There could be a connection between your phobia and the anxiety or phobias of your parents, due to a combination of genetics and learned behaviors passed down through family dynamics.

Brain Function and Structure

People with specific phobias activate certain areas of the brain differently than those without these fears. Their brain structure might also differ, which could impact how they respond to specific triggers.

How Can Phobias Impact Your Life?

Phobias can have a significant and far-reaching impact on your life, often in ways that go beyond just feeling anxious. They can shape your daily routine, influencing decisions about where you go, what you do, and who you interact with. A seemingly minor fear can evolve into something that holds you back from things you would otherwise enjoy or need to do. What starts as a single avoidance can snowball into a lifestyle of limitation.

Here are just a few examples of how a phobia could disrupt your life:

• You turn down an amazing vacation because the thought of flying makes you sick to your stomach.
• You take the long way to work because the idea of crossing a bridge sends your heart racing.
• You stop attending social events because the fear of interacting with people overwhelms you.
• You avoid getting routine medical checkups because a fear of needles makes even a simple blood test unbearable.
• You skip out on outdoor activities like hiking or camping for fear of encountering insects or spiders.
• You walk many flights of stairs because your fear of confined spaces eliminates elevators as an option (this could be especially problematic if your office or living space is on a high level floor!)
• You miss important presentations or job interviews because standing up in front of a crowd causes intense anxiety.

How to Overcome Your Phobia

The good news? You don’t have to live under the weight of your phobia forever. Below is our step-by-step guide to help you face your fear and gradually break free from its grip:

1. Acknowledge the Fear

The first step in conquering any phobia is to face it head-on. Denying or avoiding the issue only tightens its grip on you. By simply admitting to yourself that this fear exists, you take away some of its power, opening the door to overcoming it.

2. Learn About Your Phobia

It’s helpful to dive into the root of your fear. Reflect on what triggers your phobia and why it causes such a strong reaction. Having a deeper understanding of this can be incredibly empowering – especially if you discover that the fear might be based on misconceptions or past experiences, and not your current reality. The more you understand about your phobia, the less overwhelming it will become.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Because phobias are often fed by irrational beliefs, it’s helpful to start questioning those thoughts. Ask yourself if the fear is truly justified. What actual risks exist? Sometimes, even the act of challenging these beliefs can weaken the phobia’s hold on you. Practice reframing your thoughts to be grounded in reality, rather than fear.

4. Gradual Exposure

Gradual exposure to the phobia, while scary, is one of the best ways to release its hold on you. If you have a fear of flying, for example, start watching videos of airplanes. Over time, move up to actually visiting an airport. The next step might be taking a short flight. Gradual exposure allows your mind and body to adjust, helping you lessen the fear over time.

5. Practice Relaxation Techniques

When phobias strike, your body can go into overdrive. You might experience a racing pulse, tense muscles, and rapid breathing, among other physical symptoms. Techniques like deep breathing or meditation could help calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety when you’re faced with your phobia. The more you can lean into these practices, the better equipped you’ll be to handle fearful situations.

6. Seek Professional Help

Phobias can be deeply ingrained, and may need professional treatment to overcome. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective methods for treating phobias, in which a licensed therapist guides you through the process of confronting your fear, with personalized support and tools to help you break free.

7. Join a Support Group

There’s strength in shared experiences, and hearing how others have faced their fears can inspire you to keep pushing forward. Support groups offer a sense of community, reminding you that your experience is valid and that others are overcoming similar challenges.

Anxiety Treatment in Orange County, California

Dealing with a phobia that’s holding you back from living your best life? Bern Life can help! Our licensed, clinical team and holistic treatment model allows our clients to explore their fears and anxiety that accompanies them. Learn more about our intensive outpatient and partial hospitalization programs.