Relationships

Relationships - three female friends fostering their relationship at a coffee shop

Types of Relationships

Everyone reading or listening to this can say they have been in a relationship. Some may argue “I’ve never had a partner before.” My response to them is: have you ever had a friend? Maybe a neighbor? Parents or someone you viewed as a caregiver? Have you had a pet or a teacher? 

Relationships are not limited to romantic partnerships. You can have a relationship with anyone from your mother, friend, supervisor, your terrible ex, the stray cat that keeps coming over for food, and most importantly with yourself. This is a subject that comes up almost daily in mental health treatment.

 

The Lessons of Relationships

The relationship you have with others and yourself is very relative and important. A need for connection appears to be innate as well as learned. Some research shows that the ability to form this connection (relationship) comes from infancy, in that the caregiver reliably meets the infant’s basic psychological needs (food, shelter, etc). As they get older, they engage in relationships that essentially shape who they are. 

It is our philosophy that we learn something from everyone we meet. This could be lessons after heartbreak, trust/distrust, a new musical artist, or that the parent that was supposed to show us the way but didn’t.

 

The Core Values of Relationships

There are core values in any relationship you are in. These core values are respect, communication, trust, commitment, and companionship. 

When we break down each value, we see that each one is complex in and of itself. Respect can encompass being kind, polite, thankful, affirming, listening, and respecting boundaries. 

Additionally, communication is expressing your emotions, paying attention, learning to manage your emotions, and being intentional. Looking at trust, we learn that it also means being open, honest, acknowledging your partner’s feelings, and giving your trust that they have good intentions. We see commitment broken down to showing the person having loyalty, expressing appreciation, working as a team, agreeing to disagree, and showing love. 

Lastly, with companionship, we simply know we enjoy being around this individual, have common interests, and learn/grow from one another.

 

A Working Example of Core Values

Let’s look at this theme specifically with that stray kitten. This kitten has been hanging out around the back porch. At first, you might be wary thinking they might have a family or fleas. The next day we look at this kitten a little closer, they don’t have a collar and seem thin for their size. You think, maybe I’ll pick up some food for that kitten. 

That night you leave out some food on the back porch and watch as the kitten slowly walks forward and slowly/cautiously eats the food. As winter approaches, you start opening the door for them to come in. At first, the kitten gets scared and runs away. You start worrying about them but keep leaving the door open until one day the kitten comes in and the rest is history. Do we see the core values in this story?

 

It’s Never Too Late

Now you must be reevaluating every relationship you’ve been in and thinking “Do I even have a relationship with myself?” The answer is it is never too late to create a relationship with yourself or grow the one you already have (or leave a relationship that is not healthy or serving you). 

How to Improve Relationships

One of the main parts is self-love and practicing the core values we previously discussed. Below is a list of things you can do to build a relationship within yourself (or even others).

  • Create your own core values and don’t stray from them (unless you learn a new one you like).
  • Sit with yourself, learn who you are when you’re not around someone else.
  • When you are trying to solve something, ask yourself first. The answers are within you.
  • Get to know yourself. What are your likes and dislikes at this point in your life and what makes you smile? What do you like doing for fun?
  • Set your boundaries with yourself and others.
  • Decrease the judgment you have towards yourself and others.
  • Show compassion and gratitude towards yourself.

 

Interpersonal Relationship Therapy in California

Resolve relationship issues with family members, friends, romantic partners, and co-workers by practicing and improving communication, conflict resolution, and interpersonal problem-solving skills at Barn Life Recovery’s Mental Health Treatment program. Contact us today to learn more!

Share on social

INSURANCE ACCEPTED

We are in-network with all PPO plans. We are proudly a certified Tricare provider. We are now able to work with Magellan Health/Blue Shield of CA HMO plans.

TRICARE logo
aetna logo
Anthem logo
Blue Cross Blue Shield of California logo
Cigna logo

Hear From Those We've Impacted

star star star star star

Barn Life is uniquely special. As someone who has had long stretches of sobriety with "traditional" communities and methods, Barn Life stepped in when I started struggling during the pandemic and said "traditional" methods failed to help.The staff here are exceptional. This is a truly subjective statement, but it is my honest opinion that the people from the owner (Hi Matt!) to EVERYONE else works there because they believe in the work and want to share the tools they found.Barn Life and their little sibling, Peer Mental Wellness were the launchpad from a shell of an existence to person with self-love/respect, and a life-mission of personal development.

Steven D.
star star star star star

Best for someone looking for spiritual healing in addition to their mental health healing.

Luka P.
star star star star star

Barn life is probably one of the most amazing facilities you could ever attend when it comes to mental illness. This was the first place that popped up when I was searching for help and I’m so thankful that it did. The environment is very therapeutic, the staff is awesome, and the group discussions and activities were so helpful in me understanding what I was experiencing. Do not hesitate to be a part of this place. It’s literally a game changer. I was only there for 6 weeks but I wished I stayed at least 6 months. Ever since returning home, I’ve been much happier and my perspective has changed dramatically. I’ve done things and participated in events at my college that I never thought I would be able to do. This place is truly amazing and I’m forever grateful that I found this place.

Ariana E.
star star star star star

Through trial and error of trying to stay sober this program is definitely the most caring and supporting of them all if anyone needs help and is willing to help themselves I suggest barnlife they will for a fact give you the push you need and the tools to keep you going

Mason T.
star star star star star

My daughter has been at Barn Life Recovery now for two months. It was my last resort to send her 9 hours away from me. She has been in drug and mental health rehabs in and out for two years. This was my last stitch effort to save my daughter and get her back to herself. Alyssa and I spoke multiple times before deciding. Their willingness to do everything for her and the different teams they have work with them is amazing. My daughter is happy again and clean and sober. She loves it there in their outpatient program. They restore your faith in humanity. They help restore someone who is broken in so many places to themselves. They have put the light back in my daughters eyes. They are committed to helping each person who truly wants the help. They assist in helping them get jobs and be responsible members of society. I recommend their program to anyone wanting to recover from drug, alcohol and mental health.Thank you to all the people at Barn Life who have made my daughter smile and bring the light back to her eyes. I am truly grateful.DawnaLee

DawnaLee W.
star star star star star

I am alumni from Zen Recovery Path / a great place , and live a happy healthy life ever since / great peaceful place to recover // Namaste

Michael M.

START YOUR JOURNEY TO RECOVERY NOW!

MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT · DUAL DIAGNOSIS · TAILORED TREATMENT PLANS

Contact us by completing the form below or call us anytime, day or night.

Name(Required)
MM slash DD slash YYYY

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Previous Next
Close
Test Caption
Test Description goes like this